I was dragged along to one of those client lunches yesterday. Prestigeous client, private dining room in a top location and a 'face giving' menu. Pre-chosen menu. So I sat there, and lo and behold, along came the sharks fin soup. The sharks fin soup with bits of gold leaf floating in it. The sharks fin soup with roe and bits of gold leaf floating in it.
And me, the little pawn of this elaborate chess game. In moments like this I have less than no identity. And even less to say. What does one do? Eat or not eat? And if you don't eat, that animal died in vain. So given that, I ate about 1/2. And it was horrible.
And in the taxi on the way home, I questioned H. He'd told all staff that Shark's fin was not acceptable on menus. And regularly took it off the menu when he had to approve the menu. But this time, since it was a 'small' private dinner it has slipped through the cracks. I asked further. Did his bank actually have a WRITTEN policy which prohibited ordering sharks fin for company events? And while we're about it, how about making a list which encompasses all the severely endangered fish species and the more acceptable ones and circulate it in the organisation? Fortunately he was suitably angry as well, and said that he'd have to micro-manage menus from now on.
But me? What does one do? 6 people at the table. All watching each other for reactions. Stilted conversation anyway. Stock markets in a mess. Losses are all the bank's fault. Gains are due to clever clients...
Perhaps I'm not the 'man' I thought I was.
Good Service
2 hours ago
6 comments:
Bravo for bringing this up. I've been searching for a polite, local culturally appropriate to say "no thanks" to SFS. As white westerners, we try very hard to fit in and celebrate the local culture (this is particularly true of my husband who manages a large team of HK Chinese). This willingness has earned us many friends and, for my husband, it has accellerated his acceptance as the dai lo. He, too, has to approve menus for his company dinners and parties. How to do it without causing cultural offense?
I have 2 solutions and I use them both. 1 - send a "dietary preference" note in advance. 2 - go veggie for the day. I was entertained extremely well by Hang Seng recently and they respected my dietary restrictions very graciously. In return I ate (and enjoyed) the birds nest soup.
Andrew
HI
Well, actually I'm a vegetarian in process (i.e. I do enjoy meat and fish but have foresworn them for environmental & health reasons), but since it was a very small very private meal, was not consulted on my preferences ...
I must say that in HK one gets fantastic alternatives as a veggie - far superior to what I've had to endure elsewhere! So they CAN do it, they just must WANT to...
But really, what is it about the Chinese culture that says that if you don't want to eat a certain thing, you're somehow shitting on their entire culture?
If someone from Kenya or something went to Britain and was invited to a Christmas dinner and said he didn't eat Brussels sprouts, would the whole table then throw down their forks in disgust and say he was against everything they had fought and suffered for?
Where does "we are so afraid of being culturally insensitive" end and "integrity" begin?
Recently whenever I've been in China and invited to some do or other, some people have found it offensive that I don't down a full glass of beer in one go every time someone toasts me.
They seem to take it as a personal affront that I don't want to get shitfaced before 7pm.
So what? They can gurgle down as much beer and bai jiu as they want while I pace myself, preferring to get gently sloshed rather than fall-down drunk.
How can that possibly be an insult to the entire Chinese culture?
When you say no to shark fin, there will be many people at the table silently applauding you while for the sake of some bizarre sense of propriety feeling forced to inhale the nasty brew.
I think it's allowed to refuse certain foods and drinks without going into a whole geo-political spiel.
There are so many dishes in a Chinese banquet - you can pick out the ones suitable for you without losing face for yourself or your host. After all, a lot of Chinese are amazed that you can even use chopsticks, let alone "be able to" eat Chinese food.
Yes and amen. I think that us poor foreigners are being taken for a bit of a ride on the whole "face" and "sensitivity" thing. I'm all for mutual respect, but I think there is many an occasion that we're being led by a ring in the nose!
Unfortunately this was no banquet, but a set dinner with the dishes plonked in front of us one by one and each of us eying the other to see who ate first, their reaction, which utensils were used etc. etc. oh the farce of it all. I'm embarrassed to admit it all even.
Cecile, I get your point, and speaking for myself only here, I do believe that Westerners have to go the extra mile on demonstrating respect and deference to the local Chinese culture. We have a lot of nasty history to atone for around the world and celebrating the local culture (food, language and spritual traditions being the primary aspects) goes a long way toward shedding this baggage.
I don't want to trigger a discussion of moral relativism, but being "ethicial" (i.e., not eating SFS on grounds of animal cruelty or species depletion) also reflects culture - yours. Eating someone else's food and graciously accepting their hospitality demonstrates virtue, as well. It's a balancing act, and it's important to keep all the issues in mind.
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