can this be true?

I'm still trying to get my car insured as the days tick tick by and the current insurance expires. Can you believe even the AA can't get me insurance? That's the Automobile Association and not Alcoholic Anonymous.

I HAVE to have 3rd party insurance according to HK law. I've had ONE bumper accident in 26 years of driving. I HAD to report it to the police in order for the insurance to pay out on my comprehensive and 3rd party insurance. And even though I was not found guilty of anything, NO-ONE will insure me. How can this be? Is insurance in HK a complete scam? ie. you pay and then you never claim because then you'll never be insurable again in your life?

I don't even know where to take this. I tried the ombudsman, but they couldn't help as it wasn't a government department. I'm nearly in tears at the moment. Just SO completely frustrated and helpless and really feeling being in a foreign country and not knowing the ropes and the way to get things achieved legally and ethically.

Any advice?

Stuart Brown: Why play is vital -- no matter your age

Great ideas!

Full weekend ...

We've had a rather full weekend again. Is it just us? Or is in Hong Kong, or is it the rapidly approaching December when time enters some kind of cosmic wrap and folds upon itself to try to envelope a lifetime in a moment?

Today started rather early with a trip to Disney Land to run in the Unicef Family Fun run. Once again R was the one to show his mettle. After a few hundred meters he fell rather badly and cut open his knee. For about a minute and a half it was touch and go as to whether he'd stay lying there crying, or stand up and limp about or run. And run he did. Like a boy possessed. Heavens there were all those people in front of him. That wasn't the plan in his little head. I think he's had visions of himself leading the pack, despite his tiny frame and meager 6 years. I was his designated pacemaker as H had woken with some back problems. I'm not sure if pacemaker is the right word, more a case of it being me trying desperately to keep up with him as he averaged 10km/h over the 3km course, at times hitting close to 14km/h (speed thanks to the Garmin) as we sprinted to the finish. He is incredibly fast, but more than that, he is incredibly determined. If only we could channel that into some academic endeavours! A friend of mine remarked today that perhaps he just needed to run lots every day to channel all his excess energy and then he'd be tame for the rest of the things that were required of him.

Then the kids went fishing with Dad. Rod courtesy of Sinterklaas and his Pieten. R's been obsessed about fishing and can spend hours with the old geezers down on the rocks near our home or on the Kennedy Town boulevard. He chats to them and finds out all about fish and fishing, and just HAD to have a rod. To their amazement (and that of the fellow fishermen who didn't catch anything), they caught 3 sizeable fish, which were allowed to swim around in the bucket for a little while before being sent back to nature.

After a quick BBQ lunch on the balcony in beautiful warm sun, we went off to see Alasdair Malloy and the Sinfonietta doing their stuff on "Top Sport" accompanied by various friends. The kids had a ball - particularly as they were selected to carry in the flags in the procession at the start. I wonder if Chariots of Fire is a suitable film for R to watch yet? He loves Billy Elliot - as inappropriate as the language may be at times (finger on the fast forward button for me).
It's 8.30 and I'm ready for bed myself!

some things just take time ...

I've been doing OK on the fitness and weight loss thing. But, on reviewing the graphs this morning I realised that it's going to take me until at least July 2010 to achieve my goals. That will be one year since I started. It made me realise that there really are no quick fixes. It's been a long road so far and I'm not even 1/2 way there. But, one of my classmates looked at me last week and said "I don't know what it is, but you're looking really good these days", I said "thanks" and left it at that. I've lost about 4kg since we started Chinese, but it's gone off so painstakingly slowly that I don't think anyone has noticed it as losing weight as such. It isn't just losing weight. It's getting fitter and getting more comfortable with my body. The Dutch have a good saying "goed in je vel zitten" which roughly translates as sitting well in your skin. It's not just a physical thing, it's an overall acceptance of yourself.

The point about slow things, is that they happen slowly both ways. I didn't suddenly wake up a few kilos (ok, make that 19% of my initial body weight - oops that sounds A LOT) heavier. It happened 2 calories a day over 12 years. Now I'm trying to loose it 200 calories a day over one year. And things stop - I got stuck for nearly a month. I didn't gain, I didn't give up, but I didn't lose. A friend of mine warned me - she said she'd got stuck for 2 months and then suddenly it all started melting off...

Same thing with learning chinese. It takes time. A lot of time. But if you start, and keep going it starts coming. Slowly at first and then it goes faster and faster. And then you hit a plateau and it seems like things will never get any better and it's all insurmountable, and then it works again.

I had a proud mother moment yesterday. N had been insisting that I attend an assembly at school. She didn't know why, but she'd have to go on stage. It wasn't clear if she was giving other kids a prize (she's been compere for a show before) or if she was getting something. "Are you sure?" I asked "Ask your teacher if I really should be there. " She came back with the vague thing that I could if I wanted to. H was flying back from Europe, and if he got a head wind, would arrive just on time to be there too. Thursday night she insisted on me washing her hair so she'd look nice on the day. Friday she went off. H arrived within seconds of me leaving so he could join. We stood next to her English teacher. He had no idea what was going on or why she'd have to go on stage. The headmaster gave a rather good speech on "doing your best, being your best, and helping others to do their best" H thought he'd call him up to give the talk to his team at the next town hall meeting... Finally she's called up. A prize (a book and some book vouchers) for being the best last year in Chinese composition. The best part? The cheers and enthusiasm of her classmates when her name was called. That really warmed my heart. I don't worry about her academically. But I'm her mother. So I have to worry about something. It's part of the motherhood deal. So I worry about her socially!

Anyway, later, we go to the dentist and she's really glowing. Turns out the book she won was a book where a poem she wrote in Chinese last year was published. My little author. Of course she refused to let me read the poem or tell me what it was about. The dentist finally pried it out of her and read it. She burst out laughing. The assistant read it and laughed. At last she agreed for me to hear the translation. The title "my family is a zoo" ... when I find the book (she's hidden it and won't show it to dad) I'll scan it and share it with the rest of you!

slow food

Last night we sat having dinner. And sat, and sat. I looked at my watch. We'd been at it for an hour. R is the slowest eater in the world. I know this is a good thing in the grand scheme of things and he'll certainly never be obese as he's full way before he's finished. But we don't have an hour every evening to eat dinner. Then I wondered. What is normal? OK, I know if you go out for dinner you can spend 3 or 4 or more hours eating a meal. But if you're at home on a normal evening and it's late and there's still homework and music practise and reading to be done?

I spoke to the mum of one of his friends. They could have been twins. This little boy also spends FOREVER eating. But is it forever? Or are our norms so shifted that we expect everything including eating to be at a high speed? She's taken to putting an alarm at the table and when it goes off dinner is over, regardless of if he's finished or not.

I try and eat with the kids in the evenings now that H as travelling so much. We put on some nice music, have a conversation about our days, what's happening, answer the 20 million questions they have, it's all quite sociable. But in the back of my mind that little clock is going tick tick tick tick.

I know some people do homework while the kids are eating. I know when things get desperate and late I've resorted to that, flashcards inbetween the peas. But we try and keep books and work (like no TV) from meal times.

What is the norm? Things change so much I have no idea anymore.

not only not on the same page ....

Do you ever get that feeling when you're talking to someone that not only are you not on the same page, but you're not even reading the same book?

We had a little discussion at school on Monday about the use of Campus TV at school. My view on the matter is not nuanced. TV screens in public places should not be present at a school.

Yes, have TV's with DVD's and other multi-media available for use in the classroom to teach or illustrate or show something particular for a set period of time. Yes, have it available in a relaxation room or senior common room or whatever. But NOT on all the time everywhere. And particularly not on in a dining hall. I may be crazy, but I kind of like to see school as a 'super' extension of my home. I like to feel that the school has similar values around learning, enquiring, behaviour, expectations etc. etc. as I do. Or at least that we share a similar bandwidth.

Our TV is in the basement. It gets switched on for about 30-60 minutes on a Friday night for the kids to watch a DVD, usually when we go out. We vet the DVD. It certainly is not on, or even present at meal times, bath times, family time, homework time and definitely no TV's in any bedrooms (including ours). Similarly, the computers are in the study, and are used for homework, or watching youtube (with an adult present), doing emails whatever. Nothing over the top. Honestly we don't even miss it. The kids never even ask to watch TV, they're too busy doing other stuff.

Most of the mums around me were humming the same tune about TV. One mum was telling how her son had been having nightmares after seeing images of a bus crash. Her view was that she filtered what and how he received news at home, and she didn't like the fact that he could stand in front of the screen at school in all his recess time and see unfiltered images, often without any sound and then had to try and make sense of it himself. We asked someone from the school if the TV's could be switched off during lunch time. I think most studies that have been carried out say that TV's on during meal time are a large contributing factor to obesity and lack of awareness of the amount that people are eating, not to mention the fact that it is disruptive for social intercourse. The person from the school we approached to suggest that the idea of Campus TV should be revisited was surprised at our ideas. She didn't see why we'd have a problem with the TV on during meal times, nor that it was a problem having it on in all the public places. And anyway, it was good for the secondary students. Huh? Definitely reading in a different book. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry we should be limiting the exposure of children and adolescents to TV, particularly violence on TV.

So what are our kids watching on Campus TV? BBC world news. And the last time I looked, the world news was not the warm and fuzzy kind of space I'd like my kids to be in. Bomb blasts, suicide attacks, genocide, tanks rolling, and that was just on a good day. Maybe we need to up our protests on this matter.

looks interesting ...

A friend sent me this link:

Sculpture on Hong Kong Sea

Sunday 29 November 2009, 9am till late...

A one day event whereby

30 environmental and site-specific sculptural works of art

will be exhibited in open air by the sea

between Repulse and Deep Water bay

free admission

www.sculptureonhongkongsea.com

--

www.bluelotus-gallery.com
+852 6100 1295

book voyeurism

I had a couple of hours for myself this afternoon. Well, technically not for myself, since I was in town for a sport massage and then they were power drilling and jackhammering in the shop next to the massage place and jack hammering in the street below, so I asked them if I could please be excused for this week until the noise died down ...
So I used the time to browse for Sinterklaas gifts for the kids. Sinterklaas is a HUGE thing in our home at the moment. The kids are just at exactly the right age for belief and wonder in the whole matter. Not to mention displaced Dutch pride and prejudice. R today "mum, so how many Dutch people are there in the world? ... and how many English people ...?" I wonder where this is going. But he's satisfied with the fact that there are far fewer Dutch people, which means that Sinterklaas has fewer to spread his largess amongst vs. what poor Santa has facing him in December. Of course this whole period is doing their Dutch no end of good, with them both singing all the relevant songs and saying the poems and writing wish lists in their best Dutch - and amazing at the very very long Dutch words (yes, all one word, no, no finger spaces in between).

So, the Dutch spread the gift thing, with little things going in the shoe since Saturday and then a biggish something for the 5th December. N is very specific. She wants some of the classic starts books. She's done and dusted Pollyanna, Anne of Green Gables, Black Beauty, Heidi, Little Princess, Secret Garden and Little Woman, and in consultation with the school librarian and various kids at school has decided that The Three Muskateers and the Adventures of Robin Hood are what's now needed. So off I go to Bookazine. No luck. Any amount of the various series, whole shelves packed with one formula book after another. I move to Dymocks. Ditto. I try to find something else. Anything. I'm bored and uninspired by the display, the selection, the rubbish. Not even the adult books can turn me on. Not even the ones I thought I may want to buy when I read the reviews. I'm just cross. I want to start a Children's book store. One where each author may display a maximum of 2 of their works. ONLY. (OK, maybe I'll let Dickens in with a few more) I get to choose which. Anything that comes in more than numbers 1 to 3 is banned. So tonight I get onto Book Depository. Which is a dangerous thing. There's something terribly loose about buying books online. Not to mention their latest - book voyeurism. You can "watch people buy" That's even worse than Shelfari, you watch these books pop up all over the world and their titles are intriguing and you wonder what someone in Malta is doing with a book on Surgical Pathology Dissection.
Anyway, I found her books there, and some other great stuff as well - I wonder if she's too young for "A Christmas Carol"? Shall I get it and read it before we see the 3D Movie? Has anyone seen the movie yet? According to her teacher, her reading age is around 12, but I have my doubts. Maybe a pulp fiction modern story for a 12 year old. But with the classics, sure she could read the words, but she struggled with the syntax and context of "Oliver Twist" and gave up after a few chapters. It just needed too much explanation from me. Maybe we should have started with the abridged version...
With the Classics, I'm finding reading the book in conjunction with them listening to the Naxos audio CD to be a winning combination. Judging by the book cover, R would NEVER read "The Secret Garden" yet we've been listening to it in the car and he's absolutely spell bound by the story, and particularly by Dickon who I think he identifies strongly with.

White rules ...

There's been much to do in the HK papers about the PLA winning the 100km Trailwalker this year. First the victory was announced and then there were all kinds of outraged grumbles about the way in which they won. I think the matter is a little more nuanced. Remember the whole discussion that Batgung had about "stuff white people like"? Well, until sociologists etal. all started documenting all this, they were all unwritten codes and rules. My sfgf has just moved to Boston. Oh gosh, that apparently is just chock a block full of all kinds of codes and rules to keep "people who are not like us" out. Similarly, one of my black friends was telling me how the biggest difference that affirmative action made in the USA was not that it allowed his father to study, but the fact that his father studied and became a professional meant that he could crack the code, work out the rules and pass them on to his children. Who all became part of the professional class flawlessly.

So too, the Trailwalker is an institution. On reading the reports, my husband said "but it's not a race, it's not about winning". Right. For some people. But then why is anyone keeping score? And why do the winners get publicity? Then there were the comments about gamesmanship. I wonder. Reading about their first entry into the Trailwalker I had the same feeling as I have when I enter a gym and see a young person from mainland on the treadmill with crocs, or a middle aged person sweating it out in their chinos, poloshirt and taichi slippers. Or the fact that the gym has a luxurious thick pile carpet instead of a wooden or more utilitarian floor. Or when my kids innocently behave or say something inappropriate in a social setting. Because they just don't (yet) know any better and they're getting a handle on the rules and the code. The unwritten code.

There is also that little matter of trying to stand out and differentiate yourself when you're one (or 4) of 1,334,018,022 02009-11-09people. Think about that.
While the PLA struggles with White Rules, we had a discussion the other day about getting to
grips with our kids at school and the homework and the expectations there. I thought I was an
'old' hand. But I'm discovering that each year is a new adventure. Part of it is reliving Grade 1
with a not so independent, not so attentive little boy. Part of it is new teachers, part of it is new
expectations. Part of it is cultural. Things like regular assessements and plenty of dictations is
part of the parcel of being a chinese person in a chinese system. It's an alien concept for us "white
folk", and we battle together to work out what the expectations are and how we can meet them
without putting too much stress on the home system. There have been wails of "but I didn't
know", "I didn't understand", "no-one told me" from all sides! I guess that's par for the course
as a foreign body in a given set up.
Life remains interesting.